Imitation Psychiatrists

Never Get Discouraged

Even the Queen of England has problems. Why, her husband has a separate bedroom. Her son is bored with marriage. And, she does not have a thing to wear.

While your problems arc still little molehills you need to pack them up and trot on down to our PHONY PSYCHIATRIST office.

The atmosphere inside is sincere, earthy, and courteous. Our help is so effective that sometimes we even lull each other to sleep. After years of dedicated practice we can speak soothing, meaningless drivel on a variety of subjects.

We offer you brilliant conversations, sparkling wit, money making opportunity ideas, compassion, and personalized evaluations of our innermost thoughts about the weather. Yes, that Is ALL we do.

But If you aren't already crazy then isn't that ALL you need?

Don't let your trembling emotions keep you from coming in. Just because we are Phony psychiatrists doesn't mean there is anything phony in our friendship. There is nothing in our threadbare couch to be afraid of either.

After all, has rapt attention ever hurt you? Do cheerful greetings destroy your faith in humanity? Will an hour of sincere flattery ruin your evening? Can you accept our soft lights and relaxing music? Will you pay our small fee before you leave?

Your local Phony Psychiatrist office is haunted with off the wall friendships and reverberating compliments which are hard to believe. Don't be fooled any longer by those fancy diplomas, official licenses and fancy double talk real psychiatrists dish out while they have you pinned down on THEIR couch. We will cheat you for less
than they ever thought about charging you. Besides that, at the end of each session we offer you the choice of paying cash or leaving your shoes for security on a loan to tide you over till next time.

And if you ever discover you don't like the awesome listening power we dispense, you can always go find a witch doctor.

Phony Psychiatrists

Never Get Discouraged