| Dear Friend: Back in the old days, people -- men especially -- would sign their letters in various ways, but "Obediently yours" or, "Your Servant" were the favorites. These days signatures have deteriorated so badly even our crudest sales letters simply get signed with: "Sincerely yours." "Sincerely yours" is so trite and worn out that it needs to be abolished. The sincere part is never true anyway because all the sincere people on earth have accepted offers they could not refuse and stand compromised before the Lord. Consequently -- as a writer -- I have decided that we need to introduce some new closures and leaped to the rescue with new closure suggestions. For example, kids writing home for money could sign their letters "Needingly yours." Protest letter writers could sign off with "Defiantly yours" -- while apologists could sign off with Regretfully yours. Lovers who got caught cheating and want to come back into the arms of their jilted partners could sign off with Intermittently yours. The jilted lover writing back could sign the letter off with Seldom yours. The cad that sold them Viagra to start with could be encouraged into signing his sales letters with "Manfully yours." Oh, wow! When you get to thinking about it there are a lot of closures laying around that we could be using. Merrily yours, Resourcefully yours, Obligingly yours, Insistingly yours, Perishingly yours, Alternately yours, with Crushingly yours thrown in just for wrestlers and football players are just a few variations that come readily to mind. Once the trends of change begin wafting through the tree tops teenagers will pick up the cue and create some Wonderfully yours signatures that are appallingly yours and Awesomely yours too. Therefore, let us obligingly consider this matter and strive to convert these changes in our styles of correspondence closures to make the stale art of letter writing refreshingly ours. Letter writing may never end up the same again. Sincerely yours Lin Stone. |
Is Your Insurance
| The following suggestions have been alphabetized so that English
teachers in high school can encourage students to write out essays
describing when, where and what kind of letter each suggestion was supposed to
close up..
Accidentally yours Yours, Forever -- And, of course, that
final disposition: If you can suggest any more closures, please send them to us from here. Please put SINCERELY YOURS in the subject line. Thank you. |