The appreciative chuckle has become an endangered species of humor today. Lazy comedians shoot for the embarrassed snicker and audiences circle the stage like hungry wolves, waiting for Alpha to draw spurts of blood. Yet gentle humor. like Will Rogers produced, is still loved. Run a Jack Benny show over again and it draws gusts of laughter in more than half the right places. Leave it to Beaver, the Dick Van Dyke show, Ozzie and Harriet -- these draw a similar reaction because the Funny Bone hasn't really changed that much in the last thousand years. Once you hit your own streak down chuckles street you can add more joy and zest to the public thoroughfare at every bend in the road.


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The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver., Jay Leno, US comedian & television host

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Ma, them nickel pops aren't that cheap no more.

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If you beat a dead horse long enough you won't have to bury it.

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My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping., Rita Rudner, US comedian

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I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on., Oscar Levant

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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight., Rita Rudner, US comedian

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Every time a president gets shot there is a hue and a cry to take all the guns away from the rest of us.  They want to make sure that the next time a president needs doing in the assassins won't be frightened into waiting so long.

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We were out yard sailing in the country and I asked the lady where she had advertised the event.  "I advertised it on FaceBook!" she proudly told me.  "I told all my friends on FaceBook to come to my yard sale, and if they don't show up I will go ask them why not."

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No matter where you go,
there's road work ahead.

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One liners are my favorite brand of American humor, so I have saved a bunch of them for you, click Hyer.

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The American Farmer is on Welfare, First Class.

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After Sampson was shaved and cleaned up so you could tell what he really looked like, even his wife hated him a little bit. 

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Laughing is Dangerous..

Is Your Insurance
 GOOD ENOUGH?

Let's find out if
You Are a REAL writer
Take the Broken Key test!

Take any 400 consecutive words from your writing.  Now pretend you have to rewrite those words for an anxious editor and the letter "U" is broken on your keyboard.

This means that Any word in that passage that has a u in it must be replaced with a word that does not have a "U" in it.    You have fifteen minutes...

Ready, Set, GO!

Hmm.  Let's rewrite that last sentence with the "U" gone.

Writer, there are fifteen min--, hmm.

This is harder than it looks.  Maybe I'd better give you an hour... No, that's got a "U" in it too. 

You know,

when I get a POV in a mess like this

I back up and start over again a few paragraphs back. 

Let's do that here.

Let's find out if
You Are a REAL writer
Take the Broken Key test!

Take any 400 consecutive words from your writing.  Now pretend you have to rewrite those words for an anxious editor and the letter "Z" is broken on your keyboard.

***

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago, that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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In the 1400's, a law was set forth in England that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick that was thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' to go by.

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The actual cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven comes out to somewhere around $ 16,400 -- more if he wasn't fixed or house broken.

**

The first novel ever written on a typewriter? Tom Sawyer.


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

***

If a statue in the park is of a person on a horse -- and his mighty steed has both front legs lifted in the air, the hero died in battle...
If the horse has only one front leg pawing the air then the hero died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the rider might have been killed by his wife.

Lady Bountiful   

Bridie Malone was her name before she became Lady Corless. She was the daughter of the blacksmith in the village at the gates of Castle Affey, and she was at least forty years younger than Sir Tony. People shook their heads when they heard of the marriage and said that the old gentleman must be doting.

"It isn't even as if she was a reasonably good-looking girl," said Captain Corless, pathetically. "If she had been a beauty I could have understood it, but--the poor old dad!"

Captain Corless was the son of another, a very different Lady Corless, and some day he in his turn would become Sir Tony. Meanwhile, having suffered a disabling wound early in the war, he had secured a pleasant and fairly well-paid post as inspector under the Irish Government. No one, not even Captain Corless himself, knew exactly what he inspected, but there was no uncertainty about the salary. It was paid quarterly.

*

Have you enjoyed this article?
You'll chuckle over these other tidbits as well.

Hooch The story of a boy and his dog, and the tigers that loved them to death.

Get Out And VOTE.

One Liners, the most popular brand of humor in America.

Secrets of Success, according to Lucy Goosey 

Sound of Music Stories  Why Julie Andrews decided to take the part.

Ink Blots Are Prejudiced!

Bloopers First Class, MisPrince from Advertising

Imitation Psychiatrists  The atmosphere inside is sincere, earthy, and courteous.  Our help is so effective that sometimes we even lull each other to sleep. After years of dedicated practice we can speak soothing, meaningless drivel on a variety of subjects.

***

One unforgettable Sunday our church had a three-year- old preacher, an organist who could only play one song, an altercation involving the offering and a visiting beagle who knocked over the pulpit. It happened this way on . . One Unforgettable Sunday. 
Light-Hearted Stories of Hope 

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Will Rogers Cuts Loose On The Armistice 

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Are you sick and tired of being broke?  Maybe it is time to take this three part course in robbing banks.
Bank Robbery, Course 1
Bank Robbery, Course 2
Bank Robbery, Course 3

The Lady Ore the Tiger 
Christmas Lists 
Hot New Dog Race Explodes with a bang from the City Hall in Stuttgart and will continue uninterrupted until the winners collect their winnings on the front steps of the Bank of England, which will be holding the magnificent purse.

The Skeeter Beater, by Lin Stone 
The First Romeo and the Last Juliet, by Earl H. Roberts 
The Beebe Flea Market by Maggie Wood 
Where in the World, by Maggie Wood 
Buddha in the Bathtub by Earl H. Roberts 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 1 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 2 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 3 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 4 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 5 
Pearls from My Lips 

Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts, even if Johnny was so crazy with jealousy that --

Masters of Disguise  tales from Hollywood. 
Stories of Shirley Temple in Hollywood 
Chickens are Cute Little Carnivores 
The Church of the Chaise Lounge, If it feels good, sleep on it. 
Warner Brothers leads the way to Sound movies.
The Crabgrass Connection -- (Or, If We intend to Save America, we MUST quit blowing off Steam!)    Lin offers no apologies for tackling Chinese midgets in this one.  He sincerely believes that we must quit feeding the hand that bites us if we want to conquer the crabgrass in our front yards. 
Is Your Hologram keeping track of you? 

The Couch Potato's Credible Comeback 
Insurance Humor 
Victory over the Virus 
Galded in the Saddle, an exposition of the cure that bites from the behind. 
Passion in a Flower pot... The deal of a lifetime finds romance from down Mejico Way. 
Dear Abby:  A plea for help. 
Ancient Document Discovered by Earl H. Roberts:  This one will find most interest from those with a military background, including those who have watched a few war movies. 
Drop Him GOOD, by Earl H. Roberts
Liquid Vitamins in a Liquid World?  What is this world coming to?
Rising From The Ashes, by Earl H. Roberts.  Sometimes we just flat gotta face facts head on and honestly if we intend for the flames of ambition to lift us to new heights. 
The Popcorn Automatic self-improvement replicator program.
Sneakers Sneak Into The World
The Unified Theory of Web Economics and the Science of Selling Gas
Sincerely yours, tired, trite, and untrue.
Startled, or Scared? 

The Tinted Venus  What do you do when Venus comes to life and will love no one, only you?  Our young hairdresser wishes to run for his life.  This is a complete, full sized book.  Please RIGHT CLICK on the title to download your copy to your desktop.

Valentine's Day Speshul 

The Mad Dog, and danged if he didn't bite.
Oldies, older than the Civil War.
Some of the funniest material on the web comes from an unintentional mangling of the English language.  For instance, "Do not chase about your plumber." Tales of the Broke and Famous. 
Noah's Departure 
A Google Addict 
A man and his wife are soon parted. 
The Dust Bunnies Are EVERYWHERE! 
Body Building Inventions you haven't seen yet. 
Brand Them GOOD!
The Adventures of Psi King 
Gila Bend of Yesteryear 

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