The 
Humor Depot

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My sense of humor is so unique I practiced for TWENTY YEARS without any kind of success.  Then, in my twenty fourth year one of my buddies let me get all the way through with my latest setup then said, "I think you're trying to tell a joke."

But it only took TEN MORE YEARS of HARD practice before anyone 
actually laughed at one of my stories.

The more I practiced, the funnier people thought my writing was. Less than 
FIVE YEARS later my humorous articles were being published by a few national magazines.

Then just last year my site on the Internet won an award saying my writing is some 
of the very funniest things on the web.

It is easy to see the trend here:  With each step my humorous skills keep on accelerating.  By the time I die, EVERYONE ON EARTH WILL BE LAUGHING!

***

Every time a president gets shot there is a hue and a cry to take all the guns away from all the rest of us.  Isn't that just like a bunch of politicians?  They want to make sure that the next time a president needs doing in the assassins won't be frightened into waiting so long.

Laughing is Dangerous..

Is Your Insurance
 GOOD ENOUGH?

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Let me tell you up front how good I am at helping people raise their self-esteem. Joe was one of my first clients.  His self-esteem was suffering rock bottom low from the fact his wife had just taken in a stray dog and threw him out.  "To make sure it hurt me enough she reminded me she was the SECOND wife to do me that way." 

He felt much better when I reminded him that only two wives out of three had done him that way.

***

After my stroke doctors and nurses kept hoping my coordination was improving.  One morning I admitted that it was.    "I still can't tell where my left foot is but I can hit myself in the left eye every time I try to touch my nose."

Are you a REAL writer? 
Take the Broken Key test!

Take any 400 consecutive words from your writing.  Now pretend you have to rewrite those words for an anxious editor and the letter "U" is broken on your keyboard.

Any word in that passage that has a u in it must be replaced with a word that doesn't have a "U" in it.

Ready, Set, GO!  You have fifteen minutes...

Hmm.  Let's rewrite that last sentence with the "U" gone.

Writer, there are fifteen min--, hmm.

This is harder than it looks.  Maybe I'd better give you an hour... No, that's got a "U" in it too. 

You know, when I get a POV in a mess like this I back up and start over again.  Let's do that.

Are you a REAL writer? 
Take the Broken Key test!

Take any 400 consecutive words from your writing.  Now pretend you have to rewrite those words for an anxious editor and the letter "Z" is broken on your keyboard.

Before you get tickled to death, pick out some of the humorous stories available here:

Have you enjoyed this article?
You'll chuckle over these other tidbits as well.

Get Out And VOTE.

Secrets of Success, according to Lucy Goosey 
Sound of Music Stories  Why Julie Andrews decided to take the part.

Bloopers First Class, MisPrince from Advertising

Imitation Psychiatrists  The atmosphere inside is sincere, earthy, and courteous.  Our help is so effective that sometimes we even lull each other to sleep. After years of dedicated practice we can speak soothing, meaningless drivel on a variety of subjects.

One unforgettable Sunday our church had a three-year- old preacher, an organist who could only play one song, an altercation involving the offering and a visiting beagle who knocked over the pulpit. It happened this way on . . One Unforgettable Sunday.

Light-Hearted Stories of Hope 
The Lady Ore the Tiger 
Christmas Lists 
Hot New Dog Race Explodes with a bang from the City Hall in Stuttgart and will continue uninterupted until the winners collect their winnings on the front steps of the Bank of England, which will be holding the magnificent purse.

The Skeeter Beater, by Lin Stone 
The First Romeo and the Last Juliet, by Earl H. Roberts 
The Beebe Flea Market by Maggie Wood 
Where in the World, by Maggie Wood 
Buddha in the Bathtub by Earl H. Roberts 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 1 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 2 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 3 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 4 
Fun With Misfired Words, part 5 
Pearls from My Lips 
Tales of the Broke and Famous. 
Noah's Departure 
A Google Addict 
A man and his wife are soon parted. 
The Dust Bunnies Are EVERYWHERE! 
Body Building Inventions you haven't seen yet. 

Brand Them GOOD!
The Adventures of Psi King 
Gila Bend of Yesteryear 

Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts, even if Johnny was so crazy with jealousy that --

Masters of Disguise  tales from Hollywood. 
Stories of Shirley Temple in Hollywood 
Chickens are Cute Little Carnivores 
The Church of the Chaise Lounge, If it feels good, sleep on it. 
Warner Brothers leads the way to Sound movies.
The Crabgrass Connection -- (Or, If We intend to Save America, we MUST quit blowing off Steam!)    Lin offers no apologies for tackling Chinese midgets in this one.  He sincerely believes that we must quit feeding the hand that bites us if we want to conquer the crabgrass in our front yards. 
Is Your Hologram keeping track of you? 

The Couch Potato's Credible Comeback 
Insurance Humor 
Victory over the Virus 
Galded in the Saddle, an exposition of the cure that bites from the behind. 
Passion in a Flower pot... The deal of a lifetime finds romance from down Mejico Way. 
Dear Abby:  A plea for help. 
Ancient Document Discovered by Earl H. Roberts:  This one will find most interest from those with a military background, including those who have watched a few war movies. 
Drop Him GOOD, by Earl H. Roberts
Liquid Vitamins in a Liquid World?  What is this world coming to?
Rising From The Ashes, by Earl H. Roberts.  Sometimes we just flat gotta face facts head on and honestly if we intend for the flames of ambition to lift us to new heights. 
The Popcorn Automatic self-improvement replicator program.
Sneakers Sneak Into The World
The Unified Theory of Web Economics and the Science of Selling Gas
Sincerely yours, tired, trite, and untrue.
Startled, or Scared? 

Coming soon, What to do when the saga starts sagging

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