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Last week an amateur archaeologist friend of mine in Jerusalem let me know
another important document of ancient origin had been discovered in the general region of the Saulsa Sea.
It all started when a goat herder with a flock of 100 goats came up with one missing. Straightway leaving the 99 behind he searched for the missing member. The little goat was found a few days later inside a cave high in the hills. Biblical references tell us it was only natural that the goat herder should celebrate recovery of the lost kid and when he woke up the little goat was chewing on a piece of papyrus. There's no telling how many other important documents were lost to powerful enzymes, but at least this one ancient document was saved and delivered to my amateur archaeologist friend. Upon translating the document he was astounded for it purported to be a recruiting poster for King Saul of Israel, predecessor of King David. Substantial testing substantiated the age of the document to be from that period of time when King Saul did first engage the Philistines in military combat. |
For your convenience it has been translated into modern English.
And, now,
let the document speak for itself.
UNCLE SAUL Come join the army of the Israelites. We give top pay for fearless men. Earn up to one penny per day, paid in annual installments starting just as soon as this war is won.
We will take anybody.
Many of the challenges we offer thee art BIG and TALL. Come as thou art. Bring thine own food. We guarantee to furnish five (5) FREE rounds of smooth ammunition to every sharpshooter able to hit the broad side of a camel with his own slingshot. Rapid advancement is guaranteed. Re-enlistment bonuses will be paid to all survivors of their first battle. This opportunity is too good to pass up. Uncle Saul NEEDS THEE! |
Before You Go Marching Off To War
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We feel it is imperative that this document be preserved for its historical value.
Thank goodness the price is right. All the goat herder asks for is enough
money to replace the ninety and nine goats he left behind, which were ALL
missing when he returned with the one that had gone astray. They seem to
have hitchhiked out for greener pastures -- without leaving a trace.
I'm sure there is a lesson there somewhere. Who knows? Perhaps there is even a moral or two. Meanwhile I'm trying to help my friend raise the money to put the goat herder back into business before his master returns to make an accounting.
If you agree history must be served by the preservation of this amazing document from the Salsa Sea
then please send your contribution in used money of any denominations to my publisher forthwith.
Thank you.
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