You are always better off writing a nice letter first, second, and even three times.  But, Someday you may wish to write a scorching letter of complaint which blasts the recipient into tiny fragments against the wall.

The Seriously Peeved
Letter of Complaint 

by Earl H. Roberts

When you do, consider this one as a base.

Good Evening:

The post office here says the very latest you should have received my letter of last month was on the 29th. After the three months you have already taken to fill this order my material should have been in a package waiting to be dropped in the return mail. Why is it I sit here, empty handed?

You claim to be a professional company, yet 3 long months have elapsed since you took my money. So why is it I still sit here, empty handed? 

Three months to return a few rolls of film is not the mark of a professional company.  Don't you honestly believe a blind man in a wheel chair could have thumbed a ride here and delivered it in person faster than you have? 

You said my order was held back because YOU had gone on vacation and the hired help there could not be depended on. Can a company be called professional that cannot train help to do simple and basic tasks?

My original order asked your company not to process more than I had already sent sufficient funds for. Yet your hired help went ahead and developed my film into negatives so that now I am compelled to pay you for developing them or lose the whole thing. How can that be called professional? 

I did not train your help. Can you explain then why it is that here I am the one who has to sit here, empty handed and still begging?

I have called. 
I have written numerous times. 
Not one particle of response came from your firm until the Consumer Affairs department of the U.S. Postal service intervened in my behalf. 

Even then I had to flat out give you even more of my money to cover for your inadequate training program in the basic skills of customer service any professional company would have invested in long ago. And ALL I asked for was the return of what was rightfully mine to begin with. 

You are my witness.  
Did I ask for ANYTHING else? 

I frankly forgave the Months of Agony, all my letters, all my phone expenses, everything which has added salt to the wounds this gross injustice has inflicted upon me. Do I deserve to sit here, still empty handed? I gave you my money; You have kept it three months, then asked for more. Don't you honestly feel the least I should get is what you had the crass nerve to charge me for?

Can you please have my material 
{IN GOOD SHAPE} 
back in my hands by Friday? 

I sure would appreciate it.

Thank You.
Earl H. Roberts

 

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