| My own little Y2K disaster started at midnight when I shut the computer down.
Some time after midnight Marleen came in to play an innocuous game of cards on the computer. She left the game running and turned the monitor off since I would be up in a few minutes anyway. Seeing the light on, I thought I had forgotten to turn the computer off. I flipped the switch to off. According to Microsoft later, the game was using two important files. Those two files vanished. That was not immediately obvious. I did a few hours of work with other programs without any problems whatsoever. Everything was working fine until I switched over to use FrontPage98. It refused to cooperate. I tried again, and again, and again, and again. FrontPage lacked all the essential qualifications of a good volunteer. It would not load. |
| I am not stupid.
I am not ignorant. I quit right there and grabbed the phone. With deliberate malice aforethought I called up Jacinda in Tucson to ask for Microsoft's best support guy for FrontPage98. She trotted out a lamb named Justin (Task # 435 76624). I still remember his famous first words after I warned him this would not be an easy problem. "Heh, heh, heh. Don't worry. We'll have you up and going in no time." We worked on the problem for 2 solid hours before he gave up and called in a lamb from Windows95 named Walter. (This was task # 435 80333 -- which tells you how many problems Bill Gates deals with in just 2 hours UNDER ORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES) Another two hours slipped by and Walter has decided in my behalf that the thing to do is scratch out Window's 95 and start over with a whole new ball game. "All you'll have to do then is reload all the programs you have and all will be right with your world. Your data will still be there and your programs will pick it up." I gritted my teeth, knuckled under, and reloaded Window's 95. Suddenly I catch a glimmer of what Y2K will be like. Front Page will still not work. Now my modem won't work either. So I wait with bated breath for Microsoft's tech support team in Tucson to wake up and smell my brand of coffee. This time they give me dear old Ryan whose task # for my little problem is 436 05179. It didn't take Ryan long to shuffle the blame off on the modem manufacturer. "Just reload it and ---" Everything went downhill from there. I took the modem out and started the computer. Modem missing. Good. Then I put the modem back in and started the computer. The computer found the modem, but did not find the driver for it. That is when I first realized that all my personal data was gone too, wiped out. I gritted my teeth and tried to find the software for the modem. It wasn't in the primary box of essential software I keep on the shelf in front of me. Nor was it in the backup box of frequently used software, or in the backup-backup box of seldom used software. "In fact," I thought to myself as I huddled helplessly on the cold floor, "I don't remember seeing it since I moved here from Mississippi." I remembered putting it with the OLD modem and putting it up in the top of my closet with the never used software. I can almost remember storing that box in the basement along with half my worldly goods. |
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| I came back in from a
fruitless trip to the basement and monitored my situation. The manufacturer of my modem has vanished. My mail won't work. My printer won't work. My ISP is gone with the wind. My browser won't work. My data is dead. Obviously it is time for Stage II of Little Y2K to kick in. It does, with a vengeance, when I go buy another modem and install it. When I fire up the computer (That's esoteric terminology for flipping the bloody switch) not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse. Well, especially a mouse. Do you remember
the old days when you HAD to run a computer without a mouse? Somehow, my memory
of navigational triggers has faded. I got no mouse. I got no modem. I got no movement. I is dead in the water. Hey, I went down this muddy road the last time I bought software from Microsoft; I knew exactly what my next step should be. After I got done crying I tried prayer. Prayer worked; I got my sense of humor back and saved half a head of hair. Laughing all the way I used all my powers of ratiocination to learn how to navigate Windows 95 without a mouse and got the mouse to working. Now, I'm not blaming Microsoft for demolishing my computer. You've heard Murphy's Law that says "If anything can go wrong it will." Well I submit a higher law: "If there is anything that can go right with a computer problem that I have it has yet to be found." Two dinky little files go wrong and I suddenly have my own little Y2K of major proportions. What I am saying is:
There are only days to go before Y2K arrives for real
When Y2K hits, millions of people will wake up suddenly and realize that all is not well in Zion. I'm not saying Y2K can't be prepared for. I am saying that just John Paul Jones, the vast majority of computer users will stand on the deck of a sinking ship and screech: "I have not yet begun to prepare!" In short, 90% of us fools will not be prepared for Y2K before it hits. Most of us will in fact have problems that make my mountains look like little molehills. Bill Gates is not ready to help me, or you -- much less them. Let's face it, Bill Gates never has been and never will be the right man to rule the world. Even now in the lull before the storm, you will wait on line (at your expense) for an hour or more just to reach his tech support. Even with no universal emergency in sight Bill is already dealing with 129,555 problems per day. How on earth will Bill's crew ever deal with a FEW EXTRA MILLIONS of people with problems suddenly worse than my two little corrupt files?
The fact of the matter is, What to do? What to do? The major corporations and even the IRS is ready for Y2K. That won't help much when Y2K hits you. So, get ready. Study your own situation.
|
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