"You're having pulmonary problems," said the doctor.  

"What is that?" I asked.  "Asthma, what?"

"I don't know," she responded.  "But you are having trouble breathing."

the 

Fortunately I was soon hospitalized and put on oxygen.  It was a rough old go until two pretty nurses rushed in from the Pulmonary Squad to rescue me. Cheerful, bright and charming they introduced me to the AEROCHAMBER PLUS.  The AEROCHAMBER PLUS VHC is an instrument "designed to administer aerosolized medication from most pressurized Metered-Dose Inhalers prescribed by a physician or healthcare professional."  It is designed to maximize the delivery of medication into the lungs and can be used with most pressurized asthma inhalers. The idea behind this cute little invention is to help you get the medicine down into your lungs without gagging.  It works.  It works wonderfully. The Aerochamber is one tube about six inches in length with plastic caps on each end.  At one end the inhaler mouthpiece is inserted.  At the other end there is a mouthpiece that goes into the patient's mouth.  A baffle near the mouthpiece will scream or whistle if you suck in too hard. Your job, as inhaler first class, is to ALMOST make the Aerochamber whistle, but stop just short of producing that music -- and draw in a long, slow breath, then hold it.  Done just right 90% of the bad taste that sets off my gag reflex is eliminated.  The medicine goes down into my lungs where it is supposed to be.  My improvement was dramatic, and immediate. Suddenly, with no change in medication whatsoever, I could breathe again.  With great enthusiasm I set out to master the technique. Whoever said a cowboy wasn't susceptible to flattery was wrong.  The sweet smiling nurses from the Pulmonary Squad monitoring my progress bragged on me to all my visitors.  That made it much easier to beam with pride at my rapid recovery.

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The Pulmonary Squad then brought in another device called the Voldyne 5000 Volumetric Exerciser.  Let's call it a WHOOSHER for short because you are supposed to WHOOSH your breath into it to see how windy you are. The manufacturer has this to say about the WHOOSHER.  "Large volume measurement and advanced low-work-of-breathing filter. Compact, ergonomic design with built-in handle. Gradations on both sides of unit and good/better/best flow window for visualization of daily improvement. SWingle-patient use." But if we left it at that you'd never buy the thing, would you?  Click on the picture and you can buy it for just $8.25 (at this time).   "But, what good is it?" you might ask even after reading the company's description. Well, all you have to do is set this thing on your desk and visitors will suspect you are a rocket scientist, or something.  But the WHOOSHER has more uses than that too so let's move on. The WHOOSHER has two chambers with a valve in each one.  A tube with a mouthpiece (see the left hand in the picture above) is connected to both chambers simultaneously.  There is a valve in each chamber that rises or lowers according to the speed and the volume of your exhalation. The valve on the left is used to register the speed of your exhalation.  The valve on the right is used to register the volume of your exhalation.  With a sharp, quick burst of air you can shoot the valve on the right to register higher points.  The higher you go, the prouder of your lungs you have a right to be. But wait, when you blow out sharply like that the valve on the left goes sky high too -- and the Pulmonary Squad scowls at that.  Smiley Faced "BEST" is at the BOTTOM of the cylinder! Your job, as exhaler first class, is to raise the valve on the right as high as possible while simultaneously keeping the valve on the left down inside the BEST zone. This induces slow, steady, deep breathing.  This is the RIGHT WAY to breathe.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to do this, but it does take practice.  The trick to steady improvement is to keep practicing long after the Pulmonary Squad departs from your life.   My goal is to continue breathing in the BEST zone until it becomes natural for me to breathe naturally for 24 hours a day.  If it wasn't for looking stupid I'd even take the WHOOSHER with me for use and practice on my brisk walks around the community.  Coward that I am, I will only use it in the closet -- after making sure the door is locked.  But someday, someday soon, I won't care if people do think I'm a rocket scientist.

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Lin Stone is an author, writer and photographer.  His work appears regularly on the web at:  foryourprotection/  You can have immediate, and free, reading of many more pieces when you send your little surfer scooting to Lin's home page at http://www.talewins.com/StoneSoup.htm where he keeps stirring up more good things for the soul.

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Nick Nilsson is Vice-President of the online personal training company BetterU, Inc. He has a degree in Physical Education and Psychology and has been inventing new training techniques for more than 16 years. Nick is the author of a number of bodybuilding eBooks including "Metabolic Surge - Rapid Fat Loss," "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard Of," "Gluteus to the Maximus - Build a Bigger Butt NOW!" and "The Best Abdominal Exercises You've Never Heard Of".  Click HERE for more strength training information