Surviving
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| Sisters, Mom wanted to know what I would
think if she quit taking these massive doses of
chemo. I told her, “Mom, pray about this before
you do anything. Mom, the best way I can support
you is to let you decide HOW you want to fight
this, then stand by you and the decision you
make and no matter how you want to fight this I
know that if you put on the whole armor of God,
that the Lord WILL provide you with whatever you
need. I know I would not be alive today if were
not for your faith in God 27 years ago when you
quit taking chemo so I could be born.” I don't want you to think I am doing anything behind your backs, but Sisters, I pray that IF and when she decides to quit, or not to quit, that all of us will show her the kind of whole-hearted respect and support she will be looking to us for. I can respect her decision, and love her for it. no matter what that decision might be. And I KNOW that if Mom does decide to quit that it will not mean that she has stopped fighting. It will only means that she's decided from the things her body is telling her that fighting the way these doctors want her to is not the best way of fighting for her to use. Mom spent the weekend here, as most of you already know. One of the things these doctors have told her that the problems she's been having are due to her dehydration. Mom thinks her “dehydrated condition” has been caused by the chemo. |
| So while Mom was here I began logging
how much she ate and how much she drank.
After watching her all weekend, I am
inclined to agree that her problems can't be
caused by dehydration. I have been giving
her Gatorade, Pedialyte, Pedialyte
popsicles, water, applesauce and bananas all
weekend long. Her condition has improved to
the point that she can now walk to the
bathroom by herself, but that little trip
wore her out and she was still very sick
when she left here to go home. After our talk I looked up the side effects of the chemotherapy agents they are giving her as medicine and all three of them have side effects of the very things she is complaining about: dizziness, disorientation, dehydration, gastro problems and all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to look up the side effects for yourself here are the names of the chemicals they use in her chemo: Taxol, Avastin and Carboplatin. What is Taxol? Taxol is an anti-cancer chemotherapy drug classified as a plant alkaloid, a taxane and an antimicrotubule agent. What is Avastin? It is Bevacizumab. Important things to remember about the side effects of avastin: * Most people do not experience all of the side effects listed. * Side effects are often predictable in terms of their onset and duration. * Side effects are almost always reversible and will go away after treatment is complete. * There are many options to help minimize or prevent side effects. * There is no relationship between the presence or severity of side effects and the effectiveness of the medication. * There is no data as to the frequency of adverse reactions that may be attributed to avastin alone. (In clinical studies avastin was used in combination with other chemotherapy medications). The following side effects are common (occurring in greater than 30%) for patients taking avastin: * Generalized Weakness * Pain * Abdominal pain * Nausea & vomiting * Poor appetite * Constipation * Upper respiratory infection * Low white blood cell count. (This can put you at increased risk for infection.) * Proteinuria (see kidney problems) * Nose bleed (see bleeding problems) * Diarrhea * Hair loss * Mouth sores Headache What are the side effects of Carboplatin? * Low blood counts (including red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets) * Nausea and vomiting * Taste changes * Hair loss * Weakness * Blood test abnormalities: Abnormal magnesium level These are less common (occurring in 10-29%) side effects for patients receiving Carboplatin: * Burning sensation at the injection site * Abdominal pain * Diarrhea * Constipation * Mouth sores * Infection Peripheral neuropathy People that know this condition well say NOBODY wants a second hour of even mild neuropathy. a serious side effect of decreased sensation and paresthesia (numbness and tingling of the extremities) may be noted. Sensory loss, numbness and tingling, and difficulty in walking may last for at least as long as therapy is continued. These side effects may become progressively more severe with continued treatment, and your doctor may decide to decrease your dose. * Central neurotoxicity showing symptoms that include dizziness, confusion, visual changes, ringing in the ears. * Nephrotoxicity (see kidney problems): More frequent when Carboplatin is given in high doses or to people with kidney problems. * Hearing loss (ototoxicity) - loss of high pitched sounds. * Abnormal blood electrolyte levels (sodium, potassium, calcium). * Abnormal blood liver enzymes (SGOT, Alkaline phosphatase) (see liver problems). * Cardiovascular events. Although infrequent, heart failure, blood clots and strokes have been reported with Carboplatin use. Less than 1% were life-threatening. Allergic reaction may occur. It would occur during the actual transfusion. This may include itching, rash, shortness of breath or dizziness (especially in patients who have received cisplatin). These are some heavy duty drugs. One is a derivative of mustard gas. The website I used to look these up is: http://www.chemocare.com/bio/ This is a website put up by the therapists themselves and you can just click on the medical names, chemicals and medicine application and it will explain everything the best way it can be explained. The only way Mom has of paying for treatments is through MedicAid. Typically, MedicAid only pays about 20% of what other patients are paying. Even with hearts made of gold these doctors may be forced into pointing Mom towards treatments that are cheaper, and not in her best interests. If Mom does decide to trust in God, I know that the Lord can provide her, as well as us, with the tools and the weapons needed to face this battle. I know that He can heal her suffering and reduce her pain. I have asked for this in prayer. I have prayed that He will never leave her side. I do not have any doubt that it will be so, and this is the way it shall be. By the same token, if Mom elects to maintain chemo treatments we need to support her in that decision in every way that we can, both by prayer and by expressing our love for her with flowers, and by digging ditches for her if she says that what she needs. Let me say it again, I don't know for sure that Mom has chosen to trust in the Lord to heal all her suffering that the Chemo has caused. But if she has, or if she does, I know it would really upset her if one of us six girls tried to talk her out of it by attacking her faith. Maybe you have walked away from God, I don't know that, I'm not saying that you have or want to, but I am asking you to Mom's decision be her own decision instead of us taking a vote and telling her what to think and what to believe. 34 years ago she was told that only a few months more life was the best she could hope for without chemo. She quit taking chemo then so I could be born, and a few more of you have been born since doctors gave up on her. For 34 years she has been there when we needed her; now it is time for us to be there when she needs us. The Scriptures that are comforting me through this right now are: Eph 6:13 and Matt 17:20 and Luke 17:6. I know that God lives and I know that God loves each and every one of us. Your loving sister, Tina. |
