I’ve kind of got used to nickel candy bars costing over a dollar now.  I’m used to prices jumping 14% every time the minimum wage goes up 6.5%  I’m used to cars 10 feet long and 4 feet wide costing more than my brick home.  I’m now used to FREE somethings costing a dollar or two.

But today,  today I struck a new high in the old depression.

Today I bought 50 powerful backgrounds with splashes of animated artwork doing amazing contortions.  The price was marked down from $295 to a mere $47.

The sales copy that sucked me in pointed out that I could resell the material for $47 and get all my money back, therefore — he he he — it was actually FREE!  As part of my purchase I would also receive a link to a vendor with thousands of backgrounds that I could get for FREE, FREE, FREE!

As you may have guessed by now, I bought the merchandise and it was delivered in a timely manner.  The very first thing I noticed was that there were only EIGHT backgrounds, not 50.  The second thing I noticed was that I didn’t know how to use the eight I got.  The seller explained with a wicked chuckle that for a mere $47 I could not expect to receive a set of instructions!

Well, what about those thousands of backgrounds I could have for free?

Sure enough, there was a link enclosed in the package and, to get there, I pushed my little browzer through hyper space so fast the paint came off!  Eagerly I click-clacked on the first FREE specimen. 

But wait, what is this rising on my monitor screen?  Why, it’s a price tag. 

This FREE background would cost me $295 — he he he — a registration fee… he he he.

I would also have to swear on a stack of Bibles not to use the material in a commercial environment.

From now on I will climb up Mount Everest to see just how high the Depression has reached because Free backgrounds now cost $295 — Aren’t you glad?

I’ve been inundated lately with requests to shave the hair from my head so it can be used to save the critters from the oil slick glitters.

This is a wonderful idea that should have been introduced much earlier.  It gives everyone such a glow of righteous satisfaction from actually striking a blow for real environmental disasters.

Now, the next time we see an oil slick that makes us sick I hope you will remember

1. Human hair can be scooped up by the pound at Beauty Salons.
2. Doggie hair might work just as well and can be scooped up by the ton at places like PetSmart.
3. For major disasters that might threaten the lives of our politicians: Sheep in New Zealand can be clipped and shipped in a matter of hours, supplying US with enough wool to bury Washington 3 feet deep.

Meanwhile, here’s the last strand of hair from my old bald head.

Some of these stones are 2 months old, but I’ll cast them anyway.

Freddie Mac needed money a few weeks ago. Guess what, now Fannie Mae as her sweet little hand out for another 8.4 billion In the first quarter of this year Fannie lost $11.5 billion. But you can count on it, this is only the first round of applause.

Now, if we will remember this, Fannie and Freddie were some quasi-agencies politically engineered to sweep Liberals into office as friends of the poor people. Fannie Mae got a whole string of people liberally generous with Government Funds swept into office — and now they are well distanced from Fannie’s Fiasco. Somewhere along the line, Fanny has managed to lose $145 billion, or about double any profits they have ever earned. If you want to know where that money went then check the pockets of those executives that had the most friends in Washington.

If you will check the records, you will see that US were solely responsible for making some big bankers happy. Now you look around and see some big bankers are saying to the world come in, come in. We have money to loan again. Yes and who is now paying for making them happy? Yep, that’s US.

Most of Fannie’s loans are now more than 90 days overdue. Fannie Mae has been working its Heinie off, trying to get those loans modified. Modified? Isn’t that the term for providing enormous opportunities to earn more money in a thing called origination fees? The question is, who will be left holding the bag this time?

Nonperforming loans are doing better these days but only if you throw in the last three months of mad scrambling to modify loans. Between the lobbyists on the outside and graft on the inside there isn’t anything left for the poor people. This is a fate worse than debt.

What the government must learn how to do is to live as cheap as the people. Will Rogers

Over all, the United States has a 9.9% unemployment rate. But in California that’s a 12.6% unemployment rate.

A few months ago Republicans were accused of selling out Chicago schoolkids. No, I mean Yes. Well, actually it is time to split some hairs here. Not all Republicans are Conservatives. Those that aren’t might as well be Democrats for that is the way they are voting. Not all Democrats are Liberals; those that aren’t might as well be Republicans for that is the way they are voting. If these distinctions are confusing just remember that joining one part or the other is only a means of getting elected; when it comes to understanding the issues half the people on either side are confused and waiting on the next good looking bumper sticker to straighten out their sense of direction. The bumper stickers that Republicans have seen most often says that anything the government touches will cost US money, big bailout money. They may be right. You have all these business incubators dancing in the street today. But 20 years from now the US will have to shell out and pay for this generosity that Conservatives are losing the battle to. “There is nothing so funny as something done in all seriousness.” Will Rogers

69% of the people in foreclosure now got in that shape because of medical bills. 1.5 million Americans are in danger of losing their homes because of medical bills. Compared to the cost of medical service, disability insurance is a real bargain. If some life-threatening disease runs in your family you should run to get good insurance.

Oklahoma has more nations in it than any other state.