If we are ever disappointed about something in life it is always because we were expecting something more, or something better. If we get more than we were expecting it would be hard to be disappointed before the dust settles.

During a certain marriage therapy session held recently, a young couple that was already struggling with their new marriage, expressed grave concerns about its longevity. She was especially bitter and disappointed in the marriage.

As the world turns today most marriages don’t even make it to the altar without a lot of weeping and wailing, with bitter recriminations, so the counselor asked her, “What did you expect your marriage would be?”

“I thought it would be wonderful,” she replied.

“I thought marriage would be wonderful, and fun.
“I thought we would always get along, never fighting, that we would have the same opinions on anything that was important, and that we would always want to do the same things together. I thought all we needed was love, and now we can’t even share the pop corn without bickering about what channel we are going to watch.”

“And where did you get this strange idea?” asked the marriage counselor. It is obvious she didn’t get those ideas from the sitcoms of our day, and not from the movies, and not from the magazines or newspapers either. Maybe she had been watching reruns from the days when Lassie had a family, or maybe Snow White had been giving her some high expectations?

Between the day Adam and Eve had a concourse of angels casting bouquets of flowers over their heads all the way down to our wretched weed patch of today the human race has lost any grounds for expecting to achieve the blessed state of living happily ever after.

What are the ingredients for a successful marriage?

There are the basics, of course.. enough to eat, enough clothes to wear, sufficient health insurance, a Mercedes in the garage. Oh? You don’t have a Mercedes in the garage? Well, a few marriages can survive with just a Cadillac, but mark my word; it will be tough.

Ben Franklin suggested that you would have a better chance at a solid marriage if your eyes were wide open before the marriage and half closed after the nuptials were performed. A friend of mine suggested it was our mouth that needed to act like a flood control gate, wide open before the marriage and completely shut after the nuptials.

Outside the Church, the happiest marriages I have seen were the ones that faced the biggest challenges; there’s just something about NEEDING your partner that smooths out the relationship. “Who else would put up with me,” does lead to sufficient humility in some cases that a marriage solution can be worked out.

In the end most marital problems will be founded or floundered on expectations. If one partner is bitter because the spouse is ONLY the Vice President of the United States, there is just no getting around it, that marriage will flounder.

I remember Cowboy being in love with the boss’s daughter, who was worth millions — yet he cast her aside without a second thought so he could woo (and he won) the hand of a fair damsel whose brightest attraction was her ability to keep a checkbook balanced. I have a list of priorities too and a balanced checkbook is right up there in the top ten. At the very top of my list is a sense of humor; I absolutely must have a partner that will laugh wholeheartedly at my stupid jokes. If she has a bad memory and forgets I told that one just last week, that’s even better.

Some people can get along with a fence post if the barbed wire is stripped off occasionally. Most of us have a list of a must-haves or must-not-haves that cannot be ignored. I remember the Judy and Perry marriage had a strange list of priorities. She didn’t mind at all if Perry had romantic interludes on a weekly basis, but the day he tried to bring a cat into the house was the day she shut the door in front of his face. Secretly I was on her side; ocelots belong loose in the wild, not loose under the kitchen table.
The strangest working marriage I ever saw was the union of two confirmed liars. How could they possibly have a happy marriage if they were constantly lying to each other? After ten years of observations I finally realized the cement keeping them stuck together was their need for someone to swear on a stack of Bibles that this time, they were telling the truth. “I can always count on Lupe to back up anything I say, and that’s the truth, isn’t it Lupe?”

Some people can live happily half way after in a house that is knee deep in dirty diapers while others insist on a white glove inspection of the premises every morning before breakfast. I’m personally in the latter camp and cannot abide a dirty house even when it is pointed out that I was the one that dragged in most of the clutter butter. In fact, pointing out that I was the one that is at fault is quite likely to precipitate a full scale temper tantrum.

Bottom line: I love being married and just as soon as I convince her that she can’t live without me, we’re definitely going back together again.

May all of your marriages have happy expectations.

The family is the basic building block of society and nothing strengthens the joy of having a family than being able to read fine stories to your children, especially if there is a pithy little moral tucked away at the end of the story that they can understand, and you can appreciate.  The first story in this series is THROWN TO THE WOLVES.  The march goes on, of course, so you will also find

Stories With A Moral Or Two
That You Can Still Read To Children

Just remember to howl in all the right places
and you’ll do just fine.

If you aren’t comfortable with your current story-telling skills we have a wonderful book you can download for free that will show how to improve your skills quickly and easily.  Please be sure to RIGHT Click on that link and download the book to your desktop.  You will also find a further assortment of stories in that book that you can also read to your children.

There is a law that says “It can happen to anybody.” I’m a witness that it’s true. I was simply appraising a house one evening after dark and I noticed a red button beside the light switch in the master bedroom. “What is that button for?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” said the real estate agent. We looked all around for something it might turn on, but the room was empty. Whatever it was supposed to turn on had been removed when the owner had moved to Hawaii. But, just to be sure, I pushed the little red button.

Naturally that little button turned on a very vocal fire alarm. It woke people up from a sound sleep three blocks away. We had absolute strangers rushing in our doors, firemen dragging hoses across the lawn and policemen cautiously approaching from all four sides. “Hello,” I said. “I’m your new neighbor and I’d like to get better acquainted.”

It was suggested that I turn the fire alarm off in order for introductions to be made, so I pushed the little red button again. It was immediately obvious that the little red button was not a toggle switch because the fire alarm rose two more decibels in its pitch. I turned around and grinned. “Does anybody know how to turn this thing off?”

Well, three people thought they did, but they didn’t. The fire alarm was wailing louder and louder. Some quick-thinking soul remembered that he had a contract for a fire alarm too and he went to call. Soon all was golden silence again and we had quite a party with spirits bubbling higher than if we had passed around a gallon of champagne.

According to a report from Baton Rouge’s WAFB-TV the damage done was not so easily rectified when a mechanic pushed a single button in the cockpit of an airplane at the Baton Rouge Metro Airport. The button she accidentally pressed was unfortunately connected to a starter solenoid on a commuter airplane that she was cleaning.

One button, one push and just like Helen of Troy her little finger had launched the air craft into a full-fledged take-off energy spurt that drove the nose of the plane straight into two other planes inside the same hangar.
Everyone laughed about me pushing my little button, but our poor little mechanic was not so lucky. When she picked herself up off the floor and counted noses all three airplanes were destroyed, causing $100,000,000.00 in damages — not to mention nearly killing herself and 14 other workers,

Witnesses gathered up by the news crew wondered right out loud why the whole hanger wasn’t sent up in flames. It does sound like a pretty dangerous party and I’m glad I wasn’t there. But what I’m wondering about is why one button CAN launch an airship. If terrorists had known how violent the reaction could be to pushing one little button they would have lined it up to do some really significant damage long ere this accidental discharge occurred. Why isn’t there a lockdown keeping accidental discharges from happening? Why admit the possibility of surging forward unexpectedly before seat belts are fastened or back doors are shut? Why provide the opportunity of it happening before both the pilot and the co-pilot are in their seats and headphones are in place? The lack of precautions to prevent the accidental launch of a major piece of machinery seems totally irresponsible to me. I mean, I have boarded planes and seen kids darting out of the cockpit with parents nowhere in sight. Have you ever tried to control the actions of a couple of trigger-happy kids that you are forbidden to smack upside the head to get their attention? Then there is always the flirtatious advance from the opposite sex to consider — where the starry-eyed visitor pretends to be doing something bad just to evoke a passionate response.

One button, one long leap into space — it just doesn’t make sense to me. The next time I get on an airplane I want to be reassured those buttons are all safely locked and can’t do me any harm after (or even before) I go soaring off into the wild blue yonder.