Here is what the original Arkansas razorback looked like.
Too Cold to Hunt
by Lin Stone 

I met Willy at the Boat Ramp, near Helena Arkansas where I had pledged my eternal soul to cast a few stones into the Mighty Mississipp. Willy was sitting in his pickup, gazing down into the water. The fixity of his gaze dragged me back to anxiously inquire, "You okay?"

With an effort he tore his gaze away from the water and over to me. "You see them ducks?" he asked.

I glanced back and sure enough, DUCKS were paddling in the water. "Yeah."

"You know when the best time to hunts ducks is?"

I started to tell him that now Arkansas has 55 whole days set aside for duck hunting, but then something stopped me. I looked back at Willy.

"January? February?" He asked me. "That's too COLD to hunt ducks.  Right now is the time to hunt ducks!"

Not even a game warden from Texas could argue with logic like that. So I changed the subject. "What kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a garbage collector."

Stunned, I marveled at the man's courage. People who admitted they were garbage collectors went out of style years ago, about the time I first began hearing about Sanitation Engineers. "Ya know, I love picking up stuff out of the garbage myself," I admitted.

He beamed at the admission and I was not brave enough to add that the garbage I dug through was usually at least 50 years old, and some of it thousands.

"Oh, I do too. My house is full of good junk I've picked up, and my shed, and my garage are both full too. GOOD junk. It is time to get rid of it though. I'm going to put up a sign saying: FREE, any of it, just take your pick. And I'm going to close my eyes so I can't see how much they take. Say, what line of work are you in?"

"I'm a writer for Share Your State." Proudly, I pulled out a business card, which I just happened to have in my pocket, and handed it over to him.

He studied me for a moment, then he glanced reverently down at my business card. Suddenly a smile broke forth and he pulled out his wallet. "I've got a business card too!"

Stunned, I marveled: {Imagine that, a garbage collector with a business card!} Then I read the card; it was for Amway products.

"I've been with them for fifteen years now," Willy said, shaking his head.

"Fifteen years?" I asked.

"Yep," he said sadly. "Fifteen years with Amway, and I've never sold a thing.

"But I know my luck is about to change. Now I just happen to have two cans of Amway insect repellant right here in the truck with me and only $9.95 each, you can see the price right on top of the can. This is good junk, let me tell you. It has no odor, but it drives mosquitoes off and women just love it. Why, when I'm going on a date, I spray some right down the back of my shirt."

He demonstrated just how easily he could spray it down his back. ""You wouldn't believe the sex appeal this stuff has."

After a pregnant moment of hope, his resigned gaze followed mine back down to the water.

"You know," I told him. "January is too blasted cold for anybody to be hunting ducks."

Willy agreed quickly.

When I walked back to my van I was marveling greatly at Willy. Can you imagine spending fifteen years with Amway and never selling a thing?

Before starting the engine I took the top off the first can I had bought from him and sprayed a dab of it down the back of my shirt to see if I could spot just what it was about my new insect repellant that women loved so much.

the end

About the author:  Lin Stone maintains a National Directory of the best health insurance companies on the web and a National Directory of the best car insurance companies on the web. Hundreds of his other articles are available for free reading on the Internet. Just Click HERE to see an index to his works.
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